man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
