I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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