Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
