he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize