Texts From Last Night

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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.

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  (201): and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate. http://tfl.nu/09wt
  Replies (34) Good night (3627) Bad night (507)
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  (818): View more from California

  I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.

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  (818): I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore. http://tfl.nu/ogz1
  Replies (19) Good night (1042) Bad night (3645) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza

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  (513): you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza http://tfl.nu/lm16
  Replies (7) Good night (3458) Bad night (613) Order T-Shirt
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  (530): View more from California

  Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds

  (1-530): View more from California

  Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.

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  (530): Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds (1-530): Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning. http://tfl.nu/ltqk
  Replies (40) Good night (867) Bad night (4474)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.

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  (608): no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed. http://tfl.nu/ynv2
  Replies (13) Good night (5245) Bad night (827) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves

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  (402): You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves http://tfl.nu/lewx
  Replies (7) Good night (772) Bad night (2169) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.

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  (617): I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night. http://tfl.nu/ytje
  Replies (7) Good night (3888) Bad night (1102) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.

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  (570): Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it. http://tfl.nu/ahvg
  Replies (7) Good night (2744) Bad night (872) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.

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  (310): Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame. http://tfl.nu/5mgk
  Replies (6) Good night (1487) Bad night (971) Order T-Shirt
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.

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  (281): Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips. http://tfl.nu/z4q3
  Replies (7) Good night (1254) Bad night (984) Order T-Shirt
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  (979): View more from Texas

  We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.

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  (979): We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing. http://tfl.nu/hvhg
  Replies (9) Good night (2050) Bad night (623)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.

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  (519): I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes. http://tfl.nu/j2g5
  Replies (21) Good night (4139) Bad night (692) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.

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  (609): Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka. http://tfl.nu/ktyc
  Replies (4) Good night (1064) Bad night (374) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.

  (1-443): View more from Maryland

  That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.

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  (443): Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please. (1-443): That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude. http://tfl.nu/3mvf
  Replies (18) Good night (883) Bad night (2481) Order T-Shirt
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.

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  (901): A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird. http://tfl.nu/mrcn
  Replies (10) Good night (1139) Bad night (321) Order T-Shirt

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