He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house