If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
