im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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