I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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