the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
