he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Alive.
So much puke
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
