You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
