Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
