but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
