Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
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Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
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That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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