I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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