FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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