I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Randomize
