Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
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