it hurts more in the daytime
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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