R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize