i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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