Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
