I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
My feet surprised me
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