you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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