He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
