so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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