Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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