That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
