he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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