Your mouth is God's brothel.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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