No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
