Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
