Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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