Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time i carry you out of a forest
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize