Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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