Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Houston, we have a squirter
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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