Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I hate all girls vehemently.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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