Where is the hickey?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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