Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
