ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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