Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
