Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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