Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
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He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
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he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize