i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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