I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize