My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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