I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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