How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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