I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
3pm strippers are depressing
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize
