Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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