I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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