one might say we're banned from that church
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
