tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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