Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
