Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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