Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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