This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
