I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
