Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
