Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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