Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
