My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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