never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
