i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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