i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
