I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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