I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
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