you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Randomize
